OBSERVATIONS AND QUESTIONS
March 4, 2003

Last night I worked at the grocery store for a few hours. It’s easy work and I enjoy the extra income every week. However, Monday night cashiering is supposed to be an easy job. Last night proved to be an exception. I am not sure why, but there were hoards of people purchasing groceries last night. There was not a prediction of snow or a looming terrorist threat, so I was flabbergasted at the amount of shoppers going through my lane. For three hours straight, there were always at least two shoppers in my line with medium to full carts (“buggies” in the South). Luckily, everyone was pretty nice as they waited on me to swiftly scan their goods.

Every time I work, I leave remembering one or two things about the people who pass through my lane. One night I customarily asked a man how he was doing. He simply grunted at me. At least that was a response. Some people don’t even acknowledge my presence (this is rare). Another evening a man told me about the different tastes of steak based on the origin of the meat (i.e. Europe, American East Coast, the Southwest, etc.). Last December, an American Red Cross worker and I discussed the possibility of an impending ice storm, which later I learned called her away from home for a week as she helped folks without power and water to survive in the shelters.

As an observer, I also have the habit of noticing things about certain groups of people and their buying and social habits at the grocery store. It goes without saying that college students (a majority of our store business) buy frozen dinners, pizza, and beer by the ton. They also shy away from bagging their own groceries for some reason. Older folks have more coupons, and single women buy more wine than single men. Sometimes someone surprises me by purchasing something out of the norm. A little old lady bought a few cases of beer a few weeks ago and she took me aback. However, she had a outgoing personality and I could easily see how she could put a few back while watching Monday Night Football.

Once in a while customers sadden me when they come through my line. On more than one occasion I have had husbands degrade their wives publicly for a small mistake. A father scolded his child one time as she tried to help me unload the cart and bag the groceries. I found it funny though when he left to get one more item she defiantly said, “He’s gone now, so I can help again!” I had to warn her when he approached as to not get her in any more trouble.

Last night, I was deeply touched by a woman that came through my line. She had purchased a significant amount of groceries. After I had asked if she had found everything, she said she couldn’t find a certain frozen food we used to carry. I apologized and explained to her that we had limited freezer space since our store was smaller than other stores within our chain. She snickered and explained to me how she too had limited freezer space, but wasn’t in the mood to cook lately since her daughter was in the hospital. Out of concern, I questioned her about her girl. Apparently, her daughter had been in and out of emergency rooms within the past month due to various ailments, but nothing could be found. Now, she was in ICU with pneumonia. I asked if the daughter was doing better and I looked into the lady’s bloodshot eyes when she barely responded with “Today was a good day.”

I have always been curious about the private lives of people around me. Most people live a double, or even triple life. With all of the people we meet or drive by or walk past on any given day, there is no way of determining all of the secrets one holds. As I scan groceries, sit in a theater, shop in the mall, or sit at work, I am mingling with people whose lives are very different than my own – a difference that actually is a tie that binds us all. And everyone has a need that may or may not be able to be met by myself. Likewise, the person standing next to me in the checkout aisle just may be my next best friend to help me overcome a current obstacle.

“Jesus, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not help you?” - Matthew 25:44.

I don’t preach. I am just laying it out there for you to read. Even if you are not a Christian, the principle is the same – treat your fellow human as if he or she is the one person who will save you from what is hurting you at that particular point in your life. The odds are against you that the person will actually be your rescuer, but isn’t it worth the attempt? I admit I don’t practice this easy, yet extraordinarily difficult task. And to be honest, it can be a pain in the ass to be nice to people all of the time. I have my own problems to deal with that I don’t have the time or the energy to expend on others’ problems. I know it’s selfish. But I am being realistic. However, a simple smile or hello can be all someone needs, and I can do that without fail.

Life is hard enough, and don’t believe we should live it alone. Otherwise you and I would be living on separate planets. Although I feel I dwell on a different celestial body once in a while, I take comfort in knowing I can walk out my door, wave to my neighbors, and step back inside with the added peace of mind that I am truly never alone.

“Who is this person next to me?” This is a simple question with a guaranteed complex answer. We are never expected to discover everything about every person. And we may be surprised to find out what the true answer is to our inquiry. The person next to you may be a rapist, a murderer, a prostitute, a drug dealer, a child molester, or worse – that person could be a lonely housewife contemplating suicide, a businessman on the verge of a mental breakdown, or a college student overwhelmed with the pressure of studies and parents’ expectations. But an even more challenging question awaits: “Who am I to this person?” You can be the person in need, or the one to fill a need. Whether outwardly or inwardly, only you know the answer.